31 Jan. 2006

Science is some crazy shit. It's been said that any new and amazing science is indistinguishable from magic. Today a baby which underwent open heart surgery while in the womb went home. That is some amazing fucking science.

---

As damn impressive as doctors are now. You have to be impressed with a lawyer that will done a leather mask and demo BDSM in a courtroom to get a client off (pun intended you sick fucks). And if you don't know what BDSM is....you should be reading something else.

---

Hey! not that I give a shit, but yesterday was some Dick's Birthday. Congrat's on not dying for another year. Considering his health record that's a pretty impressive thing.

---

I've always wondered what I could use to remember my phone number. It's pudgy-18. Nice huh. You can see what your phone number spells at phonespell.

---

I'm always impressed by clergy who avoid the really bad sins like molsteing little kids but still manage to break one of the seven deadly one's like selling a church to embezzle the funds so he can buy a BMW

30 Jan. 2006

I will admit to being male and attracted to Jessica Alba. I will also admit I'm surprised there are 2.5 million men who read People magazine. But apparently, she's the top pick for long term relationship material. Hm, let's see: incredibly attactive. Check. Seems not to give much a shit about the celebrity. Check. Pretty well loaded from being a celebrity. Check. Can kick your ass in a fight. Check. Yeah, I think that constitutes dating material.

---

I live in Hawaii, I grew up thinking that the State fish was the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. Apparently, I was wrong.

---

I used to work primarily by my self so I guess I never realized how bad this was, but apparently, lots of people feel like they work with monkeys I'll be starting a new job on Feb. 6'th so we'll see how many monkey's I work with.

---

I honestly don't know what to say about Rolling Stone. I don't read it but apparently their reporters need to learn grammar because the Bible isn't up enough on current phrasology to call gay people fruits.

---

Now you know that you should wear loafers in a museum. Doh!

---

Janet Reno was scary as the nation's top lawyer under Clinton (insert your own joke about how much Janet looks like a dude that could have gone Brokeback Mountain with Clinton). She is even scarier as a singer. I would have paid to shut her the hell up.

26 Jan. 2006

I'm usually up on law, especially funny law. And especially funny law that involves drugs. However, before today, I had no idea that Tennessee has a tax on crack. The idea is that if you catch a drug dealer and they don't have this stamp they get from paying an anonymous tax, you prosecute for tax evasion on top of the drug charges. Nice.

25 Jan. 2006

Why nothing from the 24'th? Because nothing interesting happened. I mean honestly, how do you follow up on the most depressing day of the year?

That said, some of my writing wound up on Pacific Coast Hellway today which I found pretty nifty. Also in the news today:

Further proof that they should take Tony Danza off TV, the world's most Fraiser-like toddler, Stewie from Family Guy, is getting his own goddamn talk show. Man, they'll give anyone a show now.

---

Not that anyone reads this, but those who do probably know that I sometimes coach speech and debate. If they had this study that shows having sex improves speaking ability while I did speech, I'm pretty sure I would have done better. Or at least maybe gotten laid more often.

23 Jan. 2006

Today is The Most Depressing Day of the Year YAY!

---

I love stories like this. I'm not sure if it's because it's nice to hear about a smart criminal or a stupid cop, but these always brightens my day when a woman pulled over for DUI escapes in a police car

Market Share and Webmail

I had a thought this weekend listening to some podcasts on technology news. There’s pretty consistent bitching about Microsoft and Yahoo and Google and market share. I wonder how realistic of a consideration market share is for companies like this. I know that for myself I have accounts with all three, MS, Y! and Google. In fact I have multiple accounts at each as well as free web-based email accounts with other sites that I use for different things. In the case of many younger people, having multiple email accounts is fairly typical, having a hotmail account and a gmail account is reasonably common. In these cases, how much does market share really matter? And what represents the share of the market? Is it determined by how often I use one service versus the other? Is it based on which email I check first? For companies like MS, Yahoo and Google, I don’t think you can properly gauge the effect of a company by what some analyst or poll says about it’s share of the market, because users regularly find themselves as customers of multiple vendors.

20 Jan. 2006

I'd like to be rich. Most rich peoeple seem to misue their wealth. It's nice to see someone putting the money to a good public use. However leaving your entire estate to pay down the national debt seems just a bit stupid.

---

On the other hand, killing people just to get a job next to some hot piece of ass is even more stupid.

---

Perhaps the killer can get a sex change to avoid punishment like some guy (well, not anymore) in Singapore did.

---

If you're kind of stupid and want your kids to be smarter, eat oily fish and nuts while you're knocked up. Or so the BBC says. And while it might be enjoyable, eating my nuts, probably doesn't count.

---

In religious confusion news, I never realized there actually was such a thing as Christian Science. I know of the Christian Science Monitor. Their reporter chick is the one currently under threat of death in Iraq right now. What I don't get is why the Christian Science Monitor doesn't monitor or report on Christian Science. So "What is Christian Science?" you ask well, like Intelligent Design which is neither intelligent nor designed, Christian Science, is neither Christian nor science.

---

In other, crazier fanatical religious news, the Al Qaeda #2 guy we tried to kill in Pakistan but probably didn't released a tape of, I shit you not, poetry. Of all the things you expect from a fanatic Egyption doctor who heads a global terror network, you don't really expect lines like "There once was a man from Nantucket. Death to America."

19 Jan. 2006

The BBC Reports that despite all the lawsuits (20,000 in 17 different countries), file sharing has remained at the same level. Nice. Fuck the RIAA.

---

Even the fucking Vatican says that Intelligent Design isn't science. I wonder what they say about scientology

---

This one is my personal favorite today. What they used to do for counterfeits, because the paper used to make US currency is controlled, is bleach singles. Now counterfeiting is seeing inflation. But it's still impressive how people bypass anti-counterfeiting techniques

---

Why my teacher's couldn't be so inclined I will never understand.

---

And of course the obligatory post about the Federal Government Googling for pornography. As a side, note we need a President named Fred so that when I mistakenly call it the Frederal Government, I sound funny instead of sounding like an idiot.

18 Jan. 2006

Science is a funny thing. We have people dying across the planet of AIDS, Malaria, Polio, and hell, for the latter two we've had vaccines for some time now. Still pharmaceutical companies find it more important to (literally) get a rise out of people by working on impotency drugs. I however, won't be able to make use of little blue pills other than Aleve. Why? Because they weaken the optic nerve and mine is jacked enough as it is, thank you very much.

The BBC Reports

---

I need to apply to this, I think the appeal of calling Bill O'Reilly a crazy motherfucker to his face is too good to pass up

Debate Bill, Appear on TV

---

Would you buy William Shatner's Kidney Stone?

---

Much has been said lately about the availability of personal records through the internet. It's really nothing new or anything particularly surprising. I'd like to you point you to two links. First A short news story on the sale of personal cell phone records and A website where you can search public commercial database records for yourself

---

On to real news, I like Al Gore. I think he's a generally thoughtful, well educated and reasonable person. I also think he's kind of a pussy. Here is an interesting and well thought out speech by Gore that doesn't make him look like a pussy

---

And of course not to ignore international news and all my foreign extemporaneous speech kids. Japan's idea of foreign policy. Please note, Adrian and Aaron, the point is to READ the text, not stare.

---

Best Blonde Joke Ever

17 Jan. 2006

Took a bit of a break because I didn't really have anything amusing or useful to report. There are a few things today though.

---

Racist Sentenced to Attend Black Church I wonder what the court would have done if he were Athiest or Jewish. Is there a black temple?

---

Chick Liver Turns European Guy Into Pussy And in true modern fashion he sues the hospital.

---

Why Guys Named Gary Suck...And Birds Too

---

The Not-Quite Nazi via Musem of Hoaxes

11 Jan. 2006

TSA: Making Your Skies Safer with Sexism and Stupidity:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/01/10/qantas.security/index.html?

---

Homeland Security: Protecting Your Donuts:
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060106/NEWS10/601060345/1001&lead=1

---

On The Heels of Half a Century Jail Term for a Weed Conviction in the US, Argentina Just HAS to Show us up (bitches):
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4603030.stm

---

In Other Law Related Internet News, Some German Guy Gets a 24K Fine and Suspended Jail Sentence for Releasing a Homemade Porn Video of His Ex. Note to Self: Perhaps the Internet Isn't Good for More Than Just Porn.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1679488.html?menu=news.quirkies

---

In Other Relationship News: Blogging the Stupid Things Your Other Half Says. Note to Self: Do NOT Date any Chick With a Blog. Second Note to Self: Start Blgging all the Stupid Things the Ex Said.
http://www.thingsmyboyfriendsays.com/

---

So As Not to be Sexist: This Guy and His Girlfriend Argue About a TON of Stuff.
http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/

---

And Finally Tonight In Tech News: Windows CE Based Gas Pump. Dear Lord I Don't Want to Imgine What Happens Whtn This Thing Goes BSOD (Blue Screen of Death).
http://us.gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/god-help-us-a-windows-ce-gas-pump-147907.php

10 Jan. 2006

Down With Intelligent Design:
Science Discovers How Bee's Fly

---

This Would Be Much Funnier if This Was The Year of the Cock. As it is, I Guess it can be The Year of the Doggy Style: Chinese Prisoners Get Conjugal Visits for New Years

---

One More Reason Not to Watch TV:
Mummified Body Found in Front of TV

6 Jan. 2006

Fruity Money: via J-Walk Blog

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2006/01/05/national/a135924S96.DTL&type=bondage

---

Rotoscoping:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8672065830884811559&q=light+saber

This is a really nice example of rotoscoping effects (no offense to Craig if he ever reads this). The lightsaber effects you see are manually installed frame by frame. At the moment this technology can create neat light effects. In terms of IPTV, consider that not too far into the future you can also use the same techniques to create "hotspot" areas on film. So, for example, say you're watching a TV show and want to find out more about the actress in the show. What other films she's been in, etc. You click on her in the show and bring up the information without having to pause the video. Now yes, the typical claim for future commercialization is something like the idea that you see a jacket you like being worn by someone, you click it and you can buy it. And in theory such action is possible, but I don't see this happening as soon as most predict, nor do I see someone pausing their viewing of The Matrix to buy a pair of those nifty sunglasses. When you're watching something you usually want to pay attention to what you're watching and not just "hey, where can I get those shoes." While it's a cool technology, the psychology behind it, is I think a little flawed. Anyhow it's still a neat example of rotoscoping. Oh and yes, I do realize that the quasi-plotline of the video is sappy as all hell and to a Star Wars purist is inaccurate because of the whole Jedi thing about dropping ties to loved ones, but it's still a neat video.

5 Jan. 2006

Spammer fined $11B by Florida: As if anyone in Florida is going to live long enough to see that money.

http://www.sci-tech-today.com/news/Florida-Slaps-Spammer-with--11B-Fine/story.xhtml?story_id=01100187P97V

---

4 Jan. 2006

Nothing Like This Has Ever Happened Before:
via J-Walk Blog:

http://news.google.com/news?ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&tab=wn&q=%22nothing+like+this+has+ever+happened%22&btnG=Search+News

---

The Best Idea in Space Exploration Since Zero-G Sex:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1670928.html?menu=news.quirkies

What's The Point

The Internet is a wonderful place with lots of porn. It also has a ton of useful and amusing information. I'll regularly post amsuing links and, more importantly, some analysis of events.

To start:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4574176.stm