28 Apr. 2006

Man I really miss the days when they White House knew how to have a party

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The Swiss, gotta, love 'em. Good watches, awesome chocolate, absynthe and of course the swiss army knife. But of all the shit they make, a mountain is pretty damn impressive

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My original goal in life was to own my own carribean island by the teim I was thrity and retire there and eat lobsters the size of small children and drink red chimay red all day long. Well, okay, my first goal in life was probably to become a firefighter but I was probably about three at the time. Anyway, both goals are still pretty cool, but I have to say starting my own Iraqi death squad would be pretty damn cool. And probably much more attainable than the other two.

25 Apr. 2006

Killer Chimps. Nuff Said.

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I have pretty crappy vision so if I could be made to see with my tongue that would be pretty damn cool. Especially for night vision. Though I have to admit, it would probably change my eating habits. and being told not to run with objects because I might "poke somebody's tongue out" just sounds funny.

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22 Apr. 2006

I realize things are a bit limp for GM lately but at least they're trying. I mean, damn, even I didn't realize how much they spend on impotence drugs

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Still, it could be worse for GM, at least they don't have to smuggle military weapons where the sun doesn't shine

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In other random news perhaps this guy who put up a sign for a young virgin bride is going about this all wrong. He should have tried Craigslist.

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and last but not least, I always knew I got into the wrong line of work

14 Apr. 2006

As if you needed a reason after the 2000 election, here's a further example of why people in Florida are fucking crazy. Honesly now, why the fuck would someone want a snake the size of a damn phone pole

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I don't even know what to say other than it's Utah, and they got what they had coming to them when they booked the wrong damn Jon Stewart to speak at a school. They got a part time wrestler.

13 April 2006

Man the war on pron is getting goddamn dangerous.

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10 Apr. 2006

Goddamn but that was a long nap wasn't it? I've been busy for the past couple of weeks. congrats to the speech and debate kids that made it to nationals. Have fun in Texas. I'll wait until next year's tournament in Vegas before I decide to come on that ride. In the mean time...

I usually just get the cheapest cell phone plan and the free phone. I think it's the being half Chinese. But 200 TRILLION dollar phone bill. Damn but that's excessive.

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I haven't seen a dentist in years. Not that I have bad teeth mind you. In fact quite the opposite, my teech are just damn skippy. But I have to admit I'm impressed that the justice system has a good dental program