10 June 2006

of all the excuses for speeding, wanting to dry your car is probably the best I've ever heard. If I was the cop, I'd let him off with a warning just for the fucking entertainment value of that excuse.

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In other law related news, I'm not sure if a judge using a game of jan-ken-po to make decisions is the kind of litigation reform that Congress or the President would support. But i thing it's a damn good idea. Then instead of having to go find a lawyer, I could just get the kid from down the street that always guesses Paper.

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4 June 2006 - Has it been nearly a month already?

Man how time flies. Or drinks if you're Lithuania. a truck driver there had 18 times the local limit for alcohol. I'm impressed.

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I'd like to say that it's being Grace Kelly's offspring that gets him laid so much, but it's probably the fact that he actually has the title of Prince that let's Prince Albert father an illegitimate 14 year old girl in California. And just so as to dispel any "Princess Diary" type action. She doesn't get the throne so fuck you Disney, being Grace Kelly's granddaughter doesn't mean a damn thing.

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My hero, Juan Valdez, is retiring. I bet if he drank more coffee he could keep up the life, but then again, he is 71-years old. It's probably time to retire to Florida. If they're interested, I'm an awesome coffee spokesman. I'm not only the president of the coffee club for jittery insomniacs, I'm also a client.

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The word "erection" is banned in email in some places. Now erection of course is used a lot in building and planning, for example when you want to propose the erection of a big ass sign that says "my Dick Cheney is hard for you."

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You've got to hand it to the Japanese, even the Bank Robbers are polite and inquisitive. For example, they ask politely for directiosn on how to rob a bank and even leave quietly when asked. That's a long way from 99% of the population of either New York or Los Angeles would behave at a public restroom, let alone a bank.