9 Jan. 2006 - The random shit that appears in my RSS feed edition
Why someone would want to take condoms filled with flour on a airplane is beyond my, but you shouldn't get arrested for it. Which just further proves my point that TSA is full of shit.
And if you don't believe me and need futher proof, TSA put a goddamn baby through the X-ray machine at LAX. I mean I know my laptop has to go through separately, but my infant too?
But you come to expect that of the US where the largest cash crop is weed.
And this is of course the same country that has tens of millions of fat asses but still thinks it's goddamn pets need the diet medications. The last time my fucking dog needed a diet pill, I let herlick my balls run around more. See people that's what your animals need. More exercise, not more pills. Heartworm, fleas, ticks, your dog does not have an eating disorder that needs medication too. It has an owner disorder tha it needs to escape from.
And just to be clear about what your pets do and do not fucking need. Water? Check. Food? Check. regular exercise? Check. The occasional flea bath? Check. enough bank credit to buy a used car? Um. proably frucking not.
My newest vote for shittiest job in the world goes to diving in raw Mexican sewage for $400 and manually unclogging "blockages". I mean really, it's fucking Mexico, drink the water and get the shits. What POSSIBLE blockages could there be in mexican sewage? Dead taco bell Chihuahua?
I've been feeling particularly violent lately and I guess its spreading, 'cause when characters at the 'happiest place on earth' starting beating Mickey's fans you some shit's going down. Maybe they've been drinking Mexican water?
It has always been my dream to one day own my own island in the Carribean where I can sit all day and eat lobsters the size of small children. but I'd settle for my own country. Now to just find the $65 million dollars. Fuck it, it's my own country, I'll make up my own currency and fuck with the exchange rates.
You may have heard of the One Red Paperclip project. Where some guy trades himself up from one paperclip to a home. I say the guy who traded from a bottle of beer to a car did better. Of course it WAS a pretty good bottle of beer. So maybe not.
Oh my fucking God, I have found my dream job. Now all I have to do is marry well instead of rich and I'm set for life.
See this is what pisses me off about government. Even Norway is taxing art now. I mean really, you're trying to get your fat greedy hands into my pockets and I'm not even wearing pants. I mean damn.
And of course aside from taxes, I certainly don't trust the goverment for education. Public education systems are the things that produce college geniuses like the two nimrods who decided that it would be nice to get buzzed off of the Helium in a hotair ballon. I'm betting they got accepted to Yale too. Fuckers.
No, the only good college students are the ones you know are actually smart. Like the 11 year old sophmore at Cal State. Except little overachieving bastards like that make the rest of us look bad. Way to go kid. I'm going to go suck on a hot air balloon now and wallow in my stupidity.
If you have a friend who's going to get married, save the poor bastards life and make sure the fiance is as much of a smart-ass as this lady. 'Cause if she's not, it's a lot more work to save your friend.
Man, I never got these kind of Christmas presents. Merry Christmas indeed.
And if you don't believe me and need futher proof, TSA put a goddamn baby through the X-ray machine at LAX. I mean I know my laptop has to go through separately, but my infant too?
But you come to expect that of the US where the largest cash crop is weed.
And this is of course the same country that has tens of millions of fat asses but still thinks it's goddamn pets need the diet medications. The last time my fucking dog needed a diet pill, I let her
And just to be clear about what your pets do and do not fucking need. Water? Check. Food? Check. regular exercise? Check. The occasional flea bath? Check. enough bank credit to buy a used car? Um. proably frucking not.
My newest vote for shittiest job in the world goes to diving in raw Mexican sewage for $400 and manually unclogging "blockages". I mean really, it's fucking Mexico, drink the water and get the shits. What POSSIBLE blockages could there be in mexican sewage? Dead taco bell Chihuahua?
I've been feeling particularly violent lately and I guess its spreading, 'cause when characters at the 'happiest place on earth' starting beating Mickey's fans you some shit's going down. Maybe they've been drinking Mexican water?
It has always been my dream to one day own my own island in the Carribean where I can sit all day and eat lobsters the size of small children. but I'd settle for my own country. Now to just find the $65 million dollars. Fuck it, it's my own country, I'll make up my own currency and fuck with the exchange rates.
You may have heard of the One Red Paperclip project. Where some guy trades himself up from one paperclip to a home. I say the guy who traded from a bottle of beer to a car did better. Of course it WAS a pretty good bottle of beer. So maybe not.
Oh my fucking God, I have found my dream job. Now all I have to do is marry well instead of rich and I'm set for life.
See this is what pisses me off about government. Even Norway is taxing art now. I mean really, you're trying to get your fat greedy hands into my pockets and I'm not even wearing pants. I mean damn.
And of course aside from taxes, I certainly don't trust the goverment for education. Public education systems are the things that produce college geniuses like the two nimrods who decided that it would be nice to get buzzed off of the Helium in a hotair ballon. I'm betting they got accepted to Yale too. Fuckers.
No, the only good college students are the ones you know are actually smart. Like the 11 year old sophmore at Cal State. Except little overachieving bastards like that make the rest of us look bad. Way to go kid. I'm going to go suck on a hot air balloon now and wallow in my stupidity.
If you have a friend who's going to get married, save the poor bastards life and make sure the fiance is as much of a smart-ass as this lady. 'Cause if she's not, it's a lot more work to save your friend.
Man, I never got these kind of Christmas presents. Merry Christmas indeed.
posted by rpalmeira at 11:45 PM
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